Courage

Courage is...
Loving unconditionally after repeated heartbreaks
Getting out of bed every morning with a smile
Having great fear and overcoming it
And accepting that there are some things that you can't overcome
Knowing that you are not always in control of your own life
Realizing you are not the master of your fate
Being a good friend when the other person doesn't deserve it
Letting your weaknesses show, because you aren't a superhero
Being a superhero to someone, and becoming a better person because of it
Being happy when you have no reason to be
Waiting for someone, knowing they might never come back
And losing the people you love.

I might not fight wars or save lives.
But I live with a cause and fight for what I love.
All I can do is try to have courage and live each day without fear.
I might succeed, I might not.
But at the end of my life, I'll be able to say
"At least I tried."

You loved me once

You told me I was beautiful
You told me that you loved me
What does that mean to you?
I know what it meant to me.
I thought love endures all distance and pain
But what I didn't know was that after the last "I love you"
I would never see you again
Not in the same way
No more warm embrace
Just a "We need to talk"
We all know where those four words go
Nowhere.

You said goodbye and I wasn't ready
For those words to resonate inside my heart
Pounding inside me with each painful sound
From the man whom I fell in love
Love endures all things and I'd travel any distance
As long as I could be with you
I did
Until you said I wasn't worth it.

Someone thinks I'm beautiful
Someone thinks I'm smart
Someone loves me and wants to be a part
Of what I am, of who I am going to be
Someone out there wants me for me
No matter how far, no matter the pain
No matter the mystery of the future
And the worry of failure
I hoped it would be you
But it's not.

I've failed yet again.

It's a sweet smile, a loving embrace
A warm summer day with sunkissed skin
Throwing frisbees and long bike rides
Fresh ice cream, sitting on the hill
Cowboy movies and cuddling
First kisses and warm red cheeks
Jim Beam and Vernors
Football games
Days on the beach
Singing songs until we fall asleep
Stargazing before we knew we cared

It's waiting patiently
For something that might never be
The pain of the unknown
But trusting that one day you'll still care
Wishing that you could just be here NOW
So unfair
The idea that one day I won't be alone
As the distance between us grows

But at the end of the day...
It's the crazy adventures I remember
The nights we stayed up too late
IHOP
Grocery stores
Christmas time
The way you look into my eyes
And your passion for life

That keeps me going every day
And when I wake up
I know I'm loved.

Thoughts

You loved me
You broke me
You were so busy doing you
You forgot me

So leave me here
Let me stand
Watch me walk away
With another man

And leave me be
You never deserved me
You brought me tears and fears
But he brings love

A happiness you will never know
Always reaching for the fading afterglow
Rooted in the fallen and the lost
You will always be searching for something true

Memories lost
All for the cost
Of the dream of love
That which you never got

I miss you like the desert misses the rain,
Wishing for the sweet droplets to quench its thirst.
I miss the way you kiss me in the morning,
Just as sure as the sun will rise.
I miss the soft touch of your hands,
Just as the sand welcomes the waves on its beach to wash gently over it.
I'll forever want you in my arms.
Hold tight and never let go.

Just as sure as the rain falls, I've fallen for you.
And as the sun rises and sinks I can't help thinking of you.
Like the waves rolling in, I let your love wash over me.
Never a doubt in my mind, that my love for you is true.